Not the Same as it Was

 

Good Evening,

It has been quite awhile. How are you doing? As always, so much has happened since the last time that I posted a blog. It is insane. 

    I primarily wanted to type up a blog because I've got so much going on in my life now, new insecurities, new worries, new stresses, new uncertainty.....new joys, new happiness, new goals. 

    I wanted to look back at where my mind was when we first moved here to Ohio. As always, I was struggling with all of the newness and feeling overwhelmed. I've come so far since my last blog in November!

    So, for the sake of keeping tradition- let's get into my head at the present moment so I can look back in the next few months and be proud too!

How has Ohio been? Tim and I have been here for just about 7 months now. (Wow!) It is starting to feel a lot more comfortable and familiar. "Home" is still Florida when I introduce myself to patients or people I don't know. However, our house feels like a home and the roads are a lot more familiar for me now. I have routine, familiarity and friends at work. I've gained a lot of new skills since starting at the hospital. While I'm not the Ophthalmic Tech I want to be just yet- I am pretty darn valuable. I've made a good reputation for myself with staff, the doctors, my manager and patients. I've kept my doctor's surgery schedule running smoothly even when it had me so stressed out. 

I've overcome my fear of teching and started with just anecdotal knowledge of how to do it. Now I am my doctor's lead tech. I've balanced a schedule at work that was never supposed to be so teching heavy but I did it (while pregnant!) I navigated roads through snow, although I had never driven in snow before and was so afraid! 

I really tackled so much newness at one time and I am very proud of myself looking back. Now, what about the biggest newness? 

Well, he's arriving in roughly.....4-5 weeks? 

I think it's worth writing out a small timeline of the next few weeks (particularly because I just know it won't play out like this. It never does!)

                        May 22nd, 2022 🠊 You are Here 🠈 

          May 25th 🠊 3-Year Wedding Anniversary with Tim 💓 (3 days away)

Last 2 week separated OBGYN Appointment (35 weeks + 3 days)

June 1st 🠊 OBGYN Appointment (36 weeks + 3 days) (10 days away)

June 2nd- June 10th 🠊 My Doctor is Out, Working from Home (11 days away)

June 5th 🠊 Maternity Photos (14 days away)

June 8th 🠊 OBGYN Appointment (37 weeks + 3 days) (17 days away)

June 16th 🠊 OBGYN Appointment (25 days away)

June 17th 🠊 Last Full Day of Work, Maternity Leave Starts (26 days away)

June 19th 🠊 Father's Day (28 days away)

June 22nd 🠊 Final OBGYN Appointment (31 days away)

June 25th 🠊 My Dad's 61st Birthday (34 days away)

    🍼 June 26th 🠊 Ronald John Becker Arrives 🠈 🍼 (35 days away)

    Wow, wow, wow. In 35 days, Tim and I will be parents (if not sooner). I am currently feeling very optimistic about the labor and delivery. I am suprisingly not stressed out about this aspect. I am not worried about the pain or how exactly things will play out. I am not sure why- but this just isn't an aspect that I am stressed about. 

    I am currently most stressed out about finishing deadlines at work and physically making it through the last few weeks of work. Looking at the timeline, however, I feel confident I can physically make it through but mentally- well that might be another story. This past week started really rough. I woke up Monday and just cried. I felt frozen and stuck. I ended up calling off of work. I felt really overwhelmed, called Tim and then went back to sleep. It was a big day for my doctor because he had Tuesday and Wednesday surgeries lined up. Tuesday he ended up testing positive for Covid and so I got to work from home for the rest of the week. I really needed it. Although I was still incredibly busy and had to R/S a lot of patients, it was still such a nice break from going into the office.

At the start of the week I was convinced that I needed to talk to my OB about prenatal depression and I still may...but I feel like my largest stress is really work related. I don't think it would be a bad idea to find a therapist under my insurance anyhow. I think the biggest thing I need to remember is perspective over the next few weeks. There is nothing that is as important or pressing as my health and my family's health. 

Now I've been typing this up for quite awhile now and I've lost my steam some. I think here is a good place to end for now.

As always, with lots of love,

SB