DULLING THE SPARKLE

It is so difficult to maintain your sense of self when you become truly engulfed in a romantic relationship. The hobbies and interests you had before the relationship tend to fall somewhat to the side.

You begin adapting some of the mannerisms of your partner. You sacrifice meetings with your friends, being on time at work and alone time with yourself. Your focus becomes more on the feelings of "we" and "us" than on the feelings of "me."

So, when you're finally left alone it's difficult to pull apart from the "we" and remember the things you used to enjoy doing by yourself (without staring at your phone and waiting for your partner to text you)

......And, not all of those things are bad. In fact, there are so many wonderful aspects of being in a relationship but the worst one by far is the neglect of yourself for their happiness. And, it's a vicious cycle because when you focus too much attention on your partner and do not tend your own garden, you become less interesting to them as well.

It is so important to be good to yourself and cultivate yourself. Keep learning, keep your plans with friends, keep your days when you are near each other but doing totally separate activities.

At the end of the day it is important because you cannot and DO NOT want to control your partner's feelings or thoughts. So, if you can't spend a day away from them or find hobbies to do in your spare time than the relationship will never last. You will never grow and you will never allow your partner to grow. Which, why be in a relationship if not to love and grow with your partner?

At the end of the day, when I am somewhere incredibly beautiful or get good news, I just want him there by my side to share it with.

Yours Truly,

SM