2 Sides
Sometimes I feel like I have two sides.
One side is confident, outgoing and eager to learn. This side loves bright red lipstick, reading all day in the sunshine and anything with Vodka in it. This side speaks her mind and is sure that nothing in the world is worse than losing her mother. This side feels attractive.
The other side is insecure and gets scared when she feels like someone is pulling away. She is jealous and overthinks things. She sabotages relationships with tantrums and drinking. She gravitates towards emotionally unavailable people and sulks in the misery. She feels like a victim and unattractive.
Both of these sides are me. But I try not to let the second side define me. I think anything negative always feels much heaver than it is. It is like how the bad memories stick with you but the good ones don't.
I want to continue to cultivate the first side and become a stronger person for Tim and my future patient's as well as family.
Yours Truly,
SM
This was interesting to read. It is weird how we see ourselves and how other people see us. When I think of you I think of confident, eager to learn, bright red lipstick (Lucy style), likes to have a good time, book nerd, great sense of humor, some insecurities that you are constantly beating yourself over(you should not! You are working on them and it just takes time), love your family, selfless, crazy cat (and beagle) lady!
ReplyDeleteI love you and the fact that you can see the confident and insecure side is a great thing. You know what you have to work on and that will only make you a stronger person.