Fragile as a Superpower

 

I'm still trying to unlearn the pattern of thinking that "I'm too much." 

Too needy

Too emotional

Too talkative

Too overbearing

I know I care very deeply, about a lot of things. I feel very deeply too. People's feelings really affect me, especially the people I care about. I always want to get in there and fix things. How can I make you feel better? How can I make this easier on you?

I think this quality makes me a better person and better for my career path. I really, do care what happens to our patients and how they're feeling. My style is always, kill with kindness or win them over with kindness (I like that more)

I once had a girl at work tell me that someone could literally crap all over me and I would say, "Oh well, you know, they just had bad taco bell for lunch, so..." Obviously an exaggeration. She also said, "but hey, please don't change!"

I do, deeply want to make people's lives better, especially the people closest to me. I love being in beautiful environments that inspire me. I love my animals. I love making other people smile and feel good. I wish I could often physically pick people's pain up and take it away from them. 

Too many things to count, make my cry. I don't like being in conflict with people because life is so short. I'm not afraid that the blanket will be pulled out from under me but I am. Life is impermanent like that and it's a blessing as well as awful, simultaneously. To love deeply is to lose deeply too.

I want to continue to love deeply, cry hard, care deeply and be too needy. I wouldn't change my approach to people and life. People try to tell me, "you'll become hardened/ cynical." I'll change, of course, as we're supposed to but I hope not to change in this way.